HANS DE VENTE the SCHIZOID BORE

 

"Hans" DeVente to Zinhof and the Crackerbox Shoutbox: "I CAN'T QUIT YOU!" (That's the catch-phrase for the gay movie "Brokeback Mountai," that "Hans" has seen about twenty or thirty times.)

Yes, the gay, gay, gay Ms. DeVente, who has used homo-aliases like UNIT and LEGS and BETH, slithered away from his Vaginey NINEY identity and became SCRUTINZER.

Just as he did when he was NINEY, the blubber-lipped old fart expects people to GUESS where his "nick" came from. (No, not the nick caused by the lobotomy, the NICKNAME.) Gee "HANS," everyone REALLY cares to know such a BORING detail about your BORING USELESS LIFE:

As usual, when everybody points out that SCRUTINIZER is "HANS" again, he childishly denies it. "i am not hans..." Then the over-aged brat goes on to explain what he will and won't do under his new identity. What a brain-dead narcissistic nitwit. 

"now I will go back to occasionally posting..." the same old shit and stale goodies...the same Zappa crappa, the same Blaze Foley dung, etc. etc. 

It's been mentioned time and again: Hans De Vente is a not-too-closeted gay, who REALLY loves his BEACH BOYS and his COWBOYS and absolutely hates women. He has no use for female vocalists. He puts on choke-voiced David Byrne and wets himself over "Psycho Killer." He just imagines David is singing to him: "Psycho POSTER..." 

Un-NATURALLY enough, Hansy Pansy loves his original soundtrack to BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN, and only wishes he was still in Palm Springs (where he claimed to have lived for 30 years) doing 69 with Larry McMurtry. 

Yes, boastful bogus "Hans" tells the world that he's visited Larry SO OFTEN. But gosh, under what alias? "Hey Larry, it's me, BETH!" 

Scrutinizer ISN'T "Hans?"  We've all read his wheezing whine about "Last Picture Show" being "the greatest movie ever made," and guess who is uploading the fucking thing YET AGAIN. 

Stunned by how easily his boring new alias was discovered, Hansy Pansy waddled away briefly and came back with yet ANOTHER alias: obk. Then he insisted that nobody can have more than one name in the shoutbox. 

"Get a life" is not something "Hans" will ever do. He never had one. Unless you call being a thief, a liar, and a pest a "life." Unless you call getting fired from every job he ever had is a "life." Hans De Vente: pathetic failure. All he has to show for his 75+ years of being a Dutch Douchebag is a bunch of external drives that could break down any minute, and an attic full of John Deere toys.

ZINHOF'S SHOUTBOX? "IT'S ALL ABOUT MEEEEEEE! ME! ME! ME!" Little HANSY PANSY, the liar, transgender-minded crazy over-aged brat

He's shown everyone pictures of his bratty self -- a clueless idiot with little boy shorts on, and a little boy haircut, getting his kicks like a little boy. 

He's been hiding behind old Zinhof's skirt in that crackerbox shoutbox for years, getting new names for himself, posting utter garbage, nagging people to visit his blog(s), and sorrowfully whining about his endless DEADLY DISEASES and how he's a "good egg" who...only wants to destroy his rivals (like Green, over at It's Only Rock and Roll) and only wants Paypal donations or else. 

It may be new to a few utter morons who suddenly appear and have NOTHING BETTER TO DO than to ask "why not leave Hans alone?" (These utter morons, who always claim to have been silent for SO LONG, but must speak NOW, are of course, usually HANSY or one of his boyfriends). 

Just ask HANS (aka NINEY the NINNY) why, in the past 30 days, he's claimed to have

CORONAVIRUS 

and

A STENT PUT INTO HIS FLABBY 75 YEAR-OLD HEART.

There will be no answer, except maybe the usual, "if zinhof doesnt want me here he can kick me out." 

He won't give an adult answer for his bratty lunacy, or why he'd want to clog up the shoutbox with all these fake posts about dying. He won't give an answer to why he insists on posting his "Merle HAGRID" garbage over and over, why he hates women so much, why he hates Jews so much (he loves to post an entire discography on "those JEWISH BOYS Simon and Garfunkel" to make sure they lose a little money). He won't mention why he calls black artists SHIT (Miles Davis, John Coltlrane) or why he posts his gayola remarks like "here's more music for your ass" while calling himself UNIT or BETH).

After he DESTROYED an entire forum with the help of paying a hacker (something the Cheap Dutchman will obviously use only as a last resort...he hates paying for ANYTHING), a new forum arose. It was called "The Forum of Fear," which mocked Hansy Pansy's pictures of himself as The Ayatollah and as The Blogfather, jeering "you're afraid of me!" 

The forum was designed to find out as much about "HANS" de Vente as possible...in order to shut him the fuck up and make him know that his bullying would NOT be tolerated anymore. He got wind of the forum, and of course, joined under some dopey name or other. Everyone knew it was HANS.

Guess what happened next? He was asked WHY he was faking diverticulitis and leukemia and his wife falling downstairs, and WHY he was insulting other people, and WHY he had to run dirty pictures in the forum despite several warnings from the mods. 

Did "HANS" answer to any of this? Of course not. Bratty Hansy Pansy instead wrote "Ha ha ho ho hee hee." When told he was going to be booted from the forum and his ISP checked so he'd NEVER come back, all he did was post endless pages from Harry Potter books. Bratty, huh? 

And here he is, same old insane old "HANS" De Vente, enjoying chaos, calling attention to himself in every negative way possible, being the first to put up hate blogs and to curse at others, and then he goes hiding behind Auntie Zinhof's skirt , glad that he's causing such chaos.

Andy Partridge, members of Talking Heads...they are DAMN SORRY they ever let that fat pushy Dutchman into their lives, but they had no idea what a brat and monster De Vente is, and what a LIAR. They believed him when he claimed to be a big shot at Sony Nederlands. Like others, who gave him free tickets, who gave him free albums, and even trusted him NOT TO SHOPLIFT in their offices, Andy and the gang wised up. 

So WISE UP. Scroll through this blog and others, and ask yourself why "HANS" de Vente is despised. It's for his lying. For his stealing. For his obnoxious cursing. For his porn. For his manic-depressive bipolar need to get a fresh identity every other week. For his attempts at getting all the contact information on former friends WHO DEFENDED HIM and attempting to torment them off-Net in their homes. 

Yes, while others try to be normal, and positive, and "share" properly, this psycho has been the bane of the sharing world for 15 years...tons of blogs and fake names and vicious threats and hacking. But, go ahead, ask NINEY or whatever new name he has, why he pretended to have coronavirus, and then pretended he was going into the hospital for a stent implant. Maybe you'll get the usual response: "Ha ha ho ho hee hee" or a few choice curse words and the assurance, "I'm leaving. This shoutbox is not for me. I will not be back!"

WHINY FAT HINEY HANS DE VENTE, Aka NINEY

 

 

GOSH, "Hans" De Vente didn't go to the hospital to get an angioplasty? The same way he didn't go to the hospital when he claimed he had the coronavirus? The same way his medical report on having leukemia turned out to be yet another lie from a senile limpdick looking for attention? 

He was in the Zinhof shoutbox all the time, using several aliases, ignoring all requests to "get a life" and/or "Fuck Off." How sad, sad, sad it is, that Hansy Pansy's dull life consists of trying to get ten or twenty strangers in a shoutbox to give him a thank you for....

 

 

....some crap easily found all over the Net. 

 

The Cheap Dutchman tries to get interest by pointing out it's "fetching high prices on amazon." So get it from Hanszun, no matter what it is. The music will be yours for life...until your external hard drive fails. 

Hansy Pansy is probably only one or two posts away from his usual bratty explosion: "I posted hundreds of dollars worth of music and nobody is giving me a PAYPAL DONATION." Or..."Only 12 people downloaded this! Downloading is not for me! I will not offer more links!" 

 

While everyone else in the shoutbox is NORMAL, and they upload things without demanding attention and worrying if it's worth their time, most of the time Hansy Pansy is the time-wasting bore who has to take a poll and see if an upload is worth his precious time. After all, he has SO much to do in Badhoevedorp, like play with his John Deere toys in the attic.

 

 Same old Senile old useless old distracting old moronic old pathetic attention seeking HANS DEMENTED DE VENTE.

PIERS DECLARES: "HANS DE VENTE A BIGGER LIAR THAN MARKLE"

One thing about Piers Morgan: when he QUITS, he actually QUITS. 

He didn't turn up at the TV station in drag, calling himself BETH. 

Imagine if he gave one last report before he left. THIS ONE: 

Hansy Pansy is, of course, a total ASSHOLE and LIAR. Since nobody with a brain likes him, or is so morally bankrupt as to need his drivel downloads (oooh ooh, MIKE LOVE), he has to INVENT new identities to defend himself. How many times has somebody NEW emerged in the shoutbox JUST to say "Leave Hans alone..." What a BORE. That's you, Hans, aka BROWNSHOES, among other aliases.

Oh, if BROWNSHOES is actually one of Hansy Pansy's simple-minded homo boyfriends, just put your BROWN nose back up Hansy's ugly, festering ass, and let him play his own games. 

Hansy Pansy's bag of stale tricks includes pretending his new identity isn't him ("My name is Wilson, it was taken so I became Wilsun") and, when things get too hot, turning into his drag-queen slavey personality and crying out, "I will do it for you" and "I will get you the complete Beatles" as if he's SUCH a nice guy. This trick works over and over, as a few dopes blink and think, golly, Hansy Pansy is a real box o' chocolates, he's gonna give me the complete Beatles, like I couldn't find THAT STUFF anywhere else! What else can he gimme gimme gimme???

How about something from the "Wall of Tapes?" Hansy LOVES to show pictures of his "WALL OF TAPES," but like the true nasty little monster he is, he teases about what he owns and NEVER shares ANY of it. If it's something that actually IS hard to find, HE won't SHARE IT. Oh, ps, Hansy the Liar recently said he no longer has a Rapidgator account because he's tired of ripping off GREEN and others without getting PAYPAL donations to help him pay the monthly fee. Oooh, what a SHARER. As if he doesn't have several brand new computers (MAC and PC) and gets so much in government checks, he can afford to buy (and never even open) endless JOHN DEERE toys! 

Yeah yeah, he's giving away somebody else's Beatles collection from Rapidgator. Big deal. One reason why there are so many blogs on this jerk, and so many complaints at the Shoutbox and elsewhere, is to try and WARN people...YOU'LL BE SORRY. Many an admin, many a music lover, has found his name, address or photos on one of Hansy's hate blogs (he invented them). Many have discovered their downloads constantly deleted. Many have been embarrassed to receive unwanted gay porn photos as "revenge" because Paranoid Hans decided "you are my enemy." Too bad some gullible dimwits have to learn the hard way.

Somebody is so delighted when Hansy gives them some drivel download? Wait till next time, when a worshipful "Dear Hans..." request gets a sneering reply: "I'm in bed." Or "I don't have that." Or a scream "Nobody gives me a Paypal donation!" SUCH a nice guy. 

Part of Hansy's sad pathology is he's never satisfied. If he's conned one or two people, they mean shit to him, because he sees a bunch of others that aren't paying attention. 

When things get really bad, Hansy Pansy plays the childish game of threatening to kill himself, or declaring he's about to die.

His latest convenient lie? He's invented yet ANOTHER condition for himself to cop out and disappear till the heat is off. You remember his DIVERTICULITIS, and his TINNITUS, and his claim of having COVID-19, and his claim of having a BRAIN TUMOR, and his claim of having LEUKEMIA. Well, what is it NOW, Hansy Pansy? 

Notice that Hansy Pansy always gives himself an out? No matter how DIRE his latest LIE is, he will tell you that he'll be ba-a-a-a-ck. Today's LIE is that it's his HEART. Oh dear dear dear, he's invented a heart condition that will conveniently keep him away for just a week or so. Before he goes (not dies, just hides in his Badhoevedorp boredom-row house on GOVERNMENT money) he'll upload Beatles crap for NICE PEOPLE and then waddle over to the hospital:

Got that? WILSUN, who insisted his real name was WILSON, now admits he's HANS, and now the new lie: he needs an ANGIOPLASTY. No, no, he needs a HANS-HANDS-PLASTY...his fucking lying hands glued together so he can't pester people with his childish games anymore.

Now let's look back on a few of the NICE MAN's parting shots. There are SO many, let's just PICK TWO. Here are some fine examples of how Mr. Sweetie can turn and how his true, nasty, ugly, vindictive, nasty self. This one, from one of his endless BLOGS, directed at the shoutbox: 

And lastly, here's one of his dozens upon dozens of FAREWELLS (almost all with a sad, sad sunset picture) in which he declares that he can't listen to music, his health is bad, people are mean to him, and so he's NEVER COMING BACK.

Oh well. A useless boring jerk who has been a liar and a thief all his life, a total incompetent who could never hold a job for long, now a dull game-playing juvenile delinquent who is over 75...it's TOO LATE to say "GET A LIFE HANS." Besides, as he's said on so many blogs, he's ready to kill himself, ready for that operation to fail and his heart or his brainstem stops or....ready to COME BACK in a little while and keep being a useless overgrown brat.

 

Blubber-lipped Limp Dick SAKE JOHANNES DE VENTE aka "HANS DEVENTE" the biggest fattest stupidest LIAR on the Internet

 

Notice how Demented Devente feebly answers his critics by saying everything posted about him is just a lie? 

So here he is, crawling back into Zinhof's shoutbox when he said he'd NEVER return, and LYING about who he REALLY is. Yes, Hansy Pansy caught in yet another pathetic Little Boy Lie.

Oooh ooh, he's NOT "HANS" Devente (aka Sake Johannes DeVente...his "Hans Devente" name being a constant lie all these years). He's WILSON. Not the dreaded "HANSZUN." He told everyone in the shoutbox the truth, right:

He's got his wish. He's ba-a-a-a-a-ck causing chaos and clutter, and being THE CENTER OF ATTENTION. The schizoid Man/Woman (remember him as BETH and LEGS etc. etc.) seems to want everyone to boycott the shoutbox and stop competing with his crap downloads. 

Is that the goal for this pathetic old limpdick who is obsessed with annoying everyone at the shoutbox he was once ruling? Who really knows. Maybe he is so insane from his brain cells rotting, and his "exploded brain stem," and being on life support in the hospital all the time, and having diverticulitis, and suffering from coronavirus but being cured within a few days, and oh yes, the TINNITUS....he has no idea what the fuck he's doing. All he knows is he can be a pest in a shoutbox and get new identities all the time, and maybe get David and a few others to walk away so HE can be QUEEN again. 

....a jerk with a 15 year record of deletions, distractions, hacking of forums, LYING,  calling black people like Miles Davis "SHIT" and Simon and Garfunkel merely "two Jewish boys" and hating women. Lies? Check some of the older blogs about "HANS" like HANSZUNSHUN, and see that he's been obnoxious all along.

He invented the hate blog. He invented bullying. He called himself BLOGFATHER and AYATOLLAH. He asked his dopey "fans" to find out information on his "enemies" and "GET THEM." He posted contact information on anyone his paranoid fantasies considered a rival. He's one dizzy demented old limp dick, who half the time will LIE can tell people "I lived in Palm Springs for 30 years." No, he's been on the government teat living in a dry, boring rowhouse with an attic full of John Deere toys and DVDs the "poor man" somehow bought and never bothered to watch. ("Will some kind person pay attention to me, and upload MORE crap that I really don't need or want...I want ATTENTION.") 

What about "HANS" getting fired on his birthday by SONY? He mentioned it on several blogs, and gosh, what a surprise. Was it because he was too incompetent to even be a janitor? Was it because he hoodwinked Andy Partridge of XTC and some dope from TALKING HEADS into letting him tag along everywhere and pretend that he could get them international deals in return?  

Hans DeVente was crazy before he was even "THE BLOGFATHER." He got on Usenet back around 2006 and quickly began to bully and insult people. He was using his SONY email address to make himself seem important. He was pulling the cunning stunt of yelling and screaming at people and demanding favors, and then mewling an apology when it seemed he was going to be suspended. 

"One of those days..." that's been going on forever, with hundreds of blogs and aliases and a ton of LIES.  Sprinkled in, there's always been hypocrticial sanctimonious words of wisdom from the Great Man, like THIS but of profundity, posted when he got his first blog and began to scream "MY BLOG CAN BEAT YOUR BLOG." 

People wonder why SONY fired "HANS" DeVente? Really? He was using the company's e-mail for monkey business on the Internet. This included fighting and cursing at other Usenet people, and embarrassingly calling himself "The Mad Taper" while using SONY credentials to get free tickets and then BOOTLEGGING the shows. It got back to SONY that "HANS" was inviting himself into the offices of publicists and managers and then STEALING records. (There was a blog post where "HANS" admitted he grabbed a then-rare Phil Spector Christmas album "with my thieving hands" and stowed it in his backpack!). He'd go backstage and eat the band's food and invite himself to tag along to post-show parties...confident that saying he worked for SONY would be enough to fool everyone into thinking he was important. 

FIRED. OUT. DON'T COME BACK WITH A FAKE NAME. YOU ARE A LIAR AND A CREEP. Somehow, nobody at SONY came to his defense saying "Hans is misunderstood," or "Hans is a good egg." Or "Stealing, mooching free dinners, conning artists into thinking he's important, lying to get free tickets...it's ALL good. I can't believe he did anything WRONG."

This is the shameless liar who tells the world his wife "fell downstairs" (every other month) and posted links to his endless "suicide blogs" where he alarmed the very few people who thought he was a "good egg" by declaring that if nobody heard anything in a few days, it was because he KILLED HIMSELF. But why go on telling the truth when this idiot can waltz into a shoutbox, claim he's WILSON, and that everybody LIES about him for no reason at all. He's such an innocent little boy. Girl. Whatever. 

Does Zinhof run the shoutbox or does "WILSUN?" 

"HANS" DEVENTE -- STILL DEMENTED AFTER ALL THESE YEARS (7 days and he's cracked like a rotten egg)

How long before Hansy Pansy the Drama Queen began acting up with his new fake name? 7 Days. That was all he could stand. First game? Pretending he's not Hans and getting offended when people notice he's posting the same CRAP all over again:

Yes, it's LET'S START AN ARGUMENT, LET'S CALL ATTENTION TO MYSELF "HANS." Zinhof's shoutbox was running too smoothly for 7 days, and despite the obvious garbage downloads as WIlSUN, and the give-away that it's HANSZUN, he had to start fighting and fretting again. 

One of his favorite games to make people forget he's an obnoxious liar, a nasty bastard, the inventor of hate blogs, the "Ayatollah" and 'Blogfather" and Mr. "My way or the Highway," is to become the schizoid drag queen ready to offer anything to anybody greedy and stupid and immoral enough to STILL want to give him the attention he craves. 

"I WILL DO IT FOR YOU!" says Drag Queen Hansy Pansy. 

The only problem is that "HANS" is a sado-masochist, and a hateful creep, so as soon as one moron starts drooling, "I will do it for you" can be a day, two days, or NEVER Or, "my way or the highway," which is wait until he's good and ready. He can never have enough attention, and once people start asking for things, he brushes them off with the lamest excuses: 

Yeah, what a "good egg," what a "nice guy." This limp dick old nutjob lies in bed with his iphone reading posts, JUST to tell people he's too lazy to download something and do a favor?

You can bet if there was something he wanted to download (despite his TINNITUS) he'd be downloading it and giggling like a schoolgirl. But doing favors for people who don't say THANK YOU enough, well, "in bed already." Wait. 

Speaking of TINNITUS, back in 2018 he declared he was 75 on this Dutch tinnitus website. Now he's claiming, years later, that he's JUST turning 75? Awww, he wants "Happy Birthday" wishes, huh? But Hansy will tell you the blogs about him are all LIES, and he NEVER lies. 

Here, he claims that his tinnitus sounds like a "whistling tea kettle." A minor complaint, but drama queen Hans has cried, over and over, about being unable to listen to music anymore, and he merely comes by to offer downloads to people. (A day later he forgets this big lie, and asks "will some kind person help me save iTunes Euros and upload....")

Maybe for his alleged 75th Birthday some "kind person" will give him a gift certificate to a Badhoevedorp dress and lingerie shop. Don't you get the idea that "HANS" sits around in pretty bad drag as he drools over Brian Wilson music and "soft" jazz and anything that has to do with shitty music sung by cowboys? 

"HANS" has always been a nasty bastard...stealing records out of pubicists' offices, lying about his position at SONY in order to get free tickets, then lying to a few drug-addicted retards from XTC and Talking Heads so they'd let him hang around. Oh sure, "HANS" is the A&R guy, and he'll make one-hit wonders and no-hit wonders superstars in Holland. Ha ha Hansy Pansy! 

He's only gotten worse but maybe part of the blame is that he's always falling downstairs, getting mysterious diseases, and smacking his noggin into windshields. Any time he bleeds, he makes up a story to BORE the hell out of the shoutbox. Remember this one? 

Maybe some people want him back because of his INCREDIBLE wit and sense of humor:

"all my posts are guaranteed crap free,and dont need bandages." 

Ah yes, English is a Third language. Or make that TURD language. He just LOVES to clutter the shoutbox with this drivel. 

Now and then a bottom feeder will ignore the obnoxiousness of Hansy's behavior, and how he's started all over with a new alias, because...because.....uh....because...

Just one of those creeps who drops by to download and NEVER posts an upload. Just another idiot who wants to do something nice for Hansy. Yeah, Hansy, who has teased his "wall of tapes" for over a decade without EVER downloading anything except XTC shit and Talking Heads fag-crap.

There's always some dummy who'd sell his soul to the devil for FLAC downloads from Hansy....either for stuff ANYBODY can find EVERYWHERE, or junk that the drooling downloader simply wants because downloading is such a great game while LISTENING to any of it is too darn difficult, ay?  There's always a Neville Chamberlain ready to make a deal with Hitler, or a Dubya telling the world that 'Pooty-Poot" is a swell guy. Just tremble like Dorothy in front of the Wizard of OZ, ask politely, and maybe you won't get "i'm in bed" or "i'll see what I can do" or get ignored completely.

"Good morning good sir." Do you suppose the prison guards address Chapman that way?

Or Madam. Listen, if you want a shrill pig being idiotic, just download "The Muppet Show" from some "kind person" and stop sniffing around Hansy's gouda-and-cum-dropping hairy asshole.

A bigger question to ask limp dick Senile Hans, is why Zinhof, who barely ever writes anything because he can't speak English, keeps this idiot around. What hold does Limp Dick Wilsun have over the Croatian Scrotum? "I'll tell everyone you haunt forums as ECwashere stealing posts, then upping them as your own, with stolen discriptions from All Music..." Nah, that wouldn't be it. It might be something far more nefarious. Or, nay, fairy-ous.

Hanzie Hitler declared, as Hanszun, "BLOGGING SAVED MY LIFE!" Yes, by turning an obscure Dutch blob of cheese into "The Blogfather," deleting the competition, raging at any comments or suggestions ("I hope you die of AIDS with EBOLA") and screaming for his brown-shirted fans to find the address and phone number of totally innocent and harmless people (Spike Priggen, anyone?) and "GET HIM." 

When all else fails, Little Boy Hans plays dead. Aww, too bad "it's only a play." There have been dozens of posts like THIS one:

Poor Hansy. A few people are so glad he keeps coming back.

"IS HANS STILL ON HERE?"

 

What a question!

Of course, of course. It might explain a deletion or two, or the other game he likes, which is bringing a file out in the open (another shoutbox, for example) where he can get credit for 100's of downloads till it's deleted. 

O.S.S. (Old, Smelly & Stupid) is trying to keep it on the downlow. Like his gay porn interests. He's actually gone AN ENTIRE WEEK without mentioning tinnitus, telling the world he can steal anything GREEN has to offer, or that he wants "some kind soul" to help him get music he'll never bother listening to, but just wants to see if anyone will pay attention to him. Her. It. Such a coquette.

Anyone familiar with his very first idiot blog alias, HANSZUN (talk about narcissistic egomania... he was THE SUN) has already found his new spell-fail alias. Anyone who knows the one California singer/songwriter/mental case Hansy would most want to suck off, also has noted the quiet arrival of the new alias. Hansy also isn't exactly subtle about posting a link to about 3 dozen of the most useless crappy country-manure albums nobody would ever want to hear. 

Let's see how long he can STAND to be just another person posting in Zinhof's shoutbox and NOT making a scene or carrying on or (gasp) lighting up his latest fake name with: "link is on my NEW BLOG."

So far, in the merry month of March, Hansy Pansy has come in like a lamb...but who knows when he'll start carrying on like a barking-mad bitch.