The Wit of "HANS" De Vente

You wouldn't think English is a SECOND LANGUAGE with "HANS" De Vente. 

Look how WITTY he is: 

He could be writing for Ricky Gervais! 

Who knows what this 74,75,85 year-old (she lies about her age) is babbling about. "HANS" just has NOTHING ELSE TO DO. 

"Joking" about the pandemic has been part of the latest free blogs the Cheap Dutchman took over. 

It's possible "HANS" is referring to his boyfriend Joao Abel, the one with the Brazilian wax job on his little pee-pee. JOAO has been going crazy deleting files at Daddy Zinhof's shoutbox, and screaming at everyone. English is HIS second language too. Or third. Or not at all. 

Abel makes "Manuel" from "Fawlty Towers" look sensible.

QUE? QUE? Any retard who loves "HANS" and deletes files HAS to be DEMENTED. What, indeed, is Little Pee-Pee Brazilian Wax Job Joao the Jerk babbling about? 

QUE? QUE? 

QUE? The "disease" called "HANS" DE VENTE spreads and infects more people, and they become as CRAZY AS HE IS.

What the FUCK is with deleting files and gibbering like a rabid mouse, Little Joao? 

That's what happens when DADDY ZINHOF keeps letting idiots come back with new fake names and more chaos. But does DADDY ZINHOF know how to speak English either? Nah, just click the album cover and the link and get the music you DESPERATELY NEED and can't find at normal blogs, or on torrents? This is why only a few fools care about this shit anymore. "HANS" has made it a stinky cesspool of egotism and insanity.

He swaps gay porn with JOAO, frets about bad music files that the two of them take turns deleting out of spite, and then cries with his lies about how he's dying, or his "darling" wife fell down the stairs, or he's going to NEVER blog again if people don't pay attention to him and LOVE him. Then he gets a new fake name and does it all over again. 

Pathetic isn't it? He HAS no life. "Blogging saved my life" he's cried for nearly 20 years. 20 useless years of feuding with other members of forums and shoutboxes, sending death threats, stealing links and re-upping as his own, deliberately warring with Exystence and other sites, and on and on and on.

Most everyone ignores the crazy old sad bastard, so he gets his retarded boyfriend Joao Abel to come create chaos. All for WHAT? Music nobody really needs? Music nobody has time to hear because they already have 20GB of it downloaded in the last month alone? 

SICK. SICK. That's "HANS" and his boyfriend "JOAO" 

"HANS" could be spending the TIME HE HAS LEFT with his "darling" (as he keeps calling her). Obviously she is even more demented than he is, and her autistic grin doesn't make him as happy as a little boner photo from JOAO ABEL or some other stranger that Demented Devente emails. 

"HANS" has ALWAYS been a sociopath. A loser. Unable to relate to anyone unless by threats or bribes. He could never be NORMAL in a forum. He had to throw tantrums and steal posts and break rules and then cry about being misunderstood. Blah blah. Zzzzzz. 

Ooh ooh. Is this guy LIVING? Did he EVER?

"Joanna" De Vente lies about everything. Including her age.

Sake Johannes De Vente, aka JOANNA, MARY, JAN, and a ton of other girly fake names...JUST LIKE A WOMAN, SHE lies about her age.

(Yes, "Hans" sometimes uses little boy names like "HANS" short for Hansel of "Hansel and Gretel" FAIRY tales...sometimes gay names like UNIT, or the name of some guy he's in love with like DOUG). 

Whatever, one thing about Demented De Vente is the LIES never stop. 

Let's see, he just claimed he was celebrating his 75th Birthday.

But in 2018 on a Dutch website he said he was 75. 

But in 2019 he said he was 75: 

Then again, in 2019 he ALSO said he was 73:

And back in 2008 he claimed he enjoyed a BIRTHDAY BURGER at APPLEBEES (oh, what a big spender, the Cheap Dutchman). He said he was 62. 

Demented "HANS" De Vente - A Blast from the Past from the ASS

Here's the schizoid man, 2008, closing one blog, then opening up another one. He's monotonously done this years before, and for 12 years since. 

Less and less people bother with him because he's such an attention-whore idiot. He also posts such worthless CRAP. 

These days in Daddy Zinhof's shoutbox, he still refuses to even tell people what the FUCK he's offering. He's TOO busy. Or he's too much of a sadistic prick who doesn't respect his "friends." Go ahead, figure out who HERB is, obey him when he writes MUST HEAR, and go find the link to the latest BLOG, and too bad if you didn't do it within 10 days. "MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY." 

Now let's go back to his tired, sadistic games of shutting a blog and then smirking "Oh Shit Not You Again," thinking he's SO WITTY. 

PS, The Cheap Dutchman takes his idiot wife for a BURGER at applebees? Big spender, huh? Well, she's autistic and he probably told her it was a JUICY STEAK. Ha ha ho ho hee hee.

Now Jerkyl becomes Mr. Hyde, invading a forum to burble about his NEW blog:

Demented De Vente Lies about being POOR just to SCAM SUCKERS FOR MONEY

You remembe Hanzie Hitler's boasts?

"I got a NEW COMPUTER...I got a NEW IPHONE...." He even showed pictures. He even boasted about his MANY COMPUTERS (Apple AND PC) and HARD DRIVES

He's also boasted that he has TONS of money and he LOVES to buy CDs JUST TO GIVE AWAY THE MUSIC. Here, under his JAN alias, he brags that he spent a fortune...

BUT, you know DEMENTED HANS DE VENTE. He is a pathological liar. He's a neurotic mad man. One minute he's bragging about spending a fortune, the next, he's whining that he wants somebody to save him some money:

His latest scam? He claims (via PHOTOSHOP) that he bought a CD for $50, and -- he wants his FRIENDS to chip in. Poor Hansy Pansy, "on the government teat," with his multiple computers and hard drives and his boasts of  how he "shelled out the money" over and over for rare imports, shows his true DUTCH CHEAPNESS in hoodwinking his FRIENDS.

Remember, he just posted about his new MACBOOK PRO that he bought:

So Mr. Moneybags wants to see what friends he can scam:

DID he say 50 DOLLARS? Actually, he only spent $42. Just another little LIE from HANSY:

So much for generous "sharing," eh? The Cheap Dutchman would rather see which suckers STILL think he's a NICE GUY. Did one PATRON pay $25 and ANOTHER pay $25 so HANSY could get his album FREE and make an $8 profit?

YES, SUCKERS, "PATRONS," you got worthless files, and HANSY PANSY got a CD that he is going to RE-SELL on eBAY and make another $20 or $30 on.  You don't think he's gonna keep it, do you? He keeps moping "there are no hearses with luggage racks" and he's gonna die any second, so he has no need for anything but his zillion external hard drives and his PC's and MACS and iPhone.

DOZENS of the HANS HATERS used to be FRIENDS with him, but they got backstabbed. They got their links deleted. They got outed with HIS hate blogs FIRST where he published their photos and contact information. Some of the people who defended him the most ended up betrayed because he's such a sad, lonely paranoid madman. 

He has no friends because he probably tried to pick the pockets of anyone who visited him. He's the guy who scammed his way into record company offices and bragged about STEALING THINGS OFF THE SHELVES 'with my thieving hands!' He gets a kick out fooling people with his fake names and fake ailments. 

One minute he's moaning about how poor he is and how he needs donations to buy stupid albums he wants, and the next he brags about spending hundreds of dollars on Japanese imports. He once bragged about "spending a fortune" for a RADIOHEAD set, but NEVER posted it...until Exystence gave it away! What a coincidence.

Poor Poor Pitiful Demented De Vente. No wonder he's ignored now, and only a few FOOLS are dumb enough to give him money.

ANYONE ELSE ON THE INTERNET AS CRAZY AS DEMENTED DE VENTE?

LAH DEE DAH, "SCARLETT O'HARA" DE VENTE has NO TIME for a SHAM on his bended knee

Here's just another typical example of "HANS" De Vente, the neurotic drag queen.

He's like the WORST girfriend you EVER knew. The one you did everything for, but who wanted MORE. Here's some moron named SHAM who has been faithful to Joanna (Sake Johannes De Vente) and asks for a favor.

See what happened?

That's Joanna De Vente, aka MARY and JAN and so many other girly names the creep as used. Once a sucker starts with the praise and the requests, the power game starts.

He's done this over and over -- promised something and then sniffed and made up some excuse to delay or NOT do anything at all. 

Joanna sees that shams would like what was PROMISED. Well, keep SHAM waiting. Ha ha ho ho hee hee. With typical bad typing: Ill do it foryou when im awake." What, Hanzie is sleepwalking?  He's playing with his new iphone and doesn't feel like going to his computer and upping to YDRAY?

This is part of Demented De Vente's m.o. for decades. If somebody defends him, he whines that MORE people should. When he shouts in the shoutbox, "anybody want ask me," and GETS asked, he growls "I'll do it in a few days" or curses and says "When did YOU upload anything for me?" Or shouts "MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY." 

So many forum members, mods, fellow bloggers made the mistake of feeling sympathy for De Vente, believing the lies, etc. etc. Only to be abused, hacked, deleted, victimized (DE VENTE started HATE BLOGS back when he pretended to be Champaloux on one blog while giving the guy's name and address on another and urging everyone to GET HIM.)

Nasty. Crazy. Game-playing. Disdainful. Teasing just to keep someone waiting. De Vente is Just Like a Woman on her period, which is pretty remarkable for an old limp dick. 

Scarlett O'Hara wasn't as crazy a bitch as "HANS" De Vente. Meanwhile, De Vente just feels sorry for herself/himself for being SO misunderstood. 

"HANS" de Vente and his same old games -- NOTHING BETTER TO DO

Here's an item that isn't on any of the older blogs. It's just another screen capture example of how long tedious Sake Johannes De Vente has been inflicting his crap, lies and stealing. Johannes uses the alias ("HANS" a silly first name you encounter only in fairy books about Hans Brinker and Hansel and Gretel). He's used aliases all his life because he's always been a troublemaker and a coward, dodging around with dodgy names and endless blogs and creeping into forums and shoutboxes to get his kicks by grabbing attention any way he can.

He has NO LIFE. He's been a useless parasite for 74 years. (Or is it 75. Or 85. He's lied about his age like every old woman does.) 

TWELVE YEARS AGO he was outed at the It's Psych forum: 

What did "HANS" do? Why, he sorrowfully insisted he's SUCH a nice guy, only wants to GIVE (what he's stolen from other bloggers and websites) and is just trying to make people happy. He then announced he was quitting the forum and never coming back. He came back with a new name two days later. 

He's still pulling the same games, getting more fake names, and spending the dwindling last days of his purgatory by monotonously posting links in shoutboxes to get people to go look at his newest BLOG. 

Guess what. He gets a pitiful few dozen "hits" on the garbage he posts, NEVER a thanks, and nobody even wants the shit. He's uploading to other losers who are addicted to downloading ANYTHING, even shit they'll never have time to listen to, and don't even care about. It's just to have. Until they get Lou Gherig's disease, or Parkinson's, or just have as stroke. And then their external drives get thrown away along with their socks and underwear because it's all GARBAGE. A total waste of time. 

"HANS" has been a waste of space since the day he was born. That's why his father beat him. That's why his mother loathed him. That's why he ended up with a half-retarded wife and no kids and nothing to do but babble about Hank Williams, and his love of BEACH BOYS, and his thousand and one fake diseases and false alarms ("The FBI is after me!" "My wife fell down the stairs!" "I've gone to the hospital!" "I won't be here anymore!" "Blah Blah BLOG!")

What a loser. Limp Dick Devente's life has been pathetic. He's been a HAS BEEN for DECADES. 

75 is long enough for a useless limp-dick waste of space

Exactly ONE person wishes "Happy Birthday" to the pesty, moronic, pushy, stupid, boring, obnoxious lying son-of-a-bitch SAKE JOHANNES DE VENTE. 

What, no mention of diverticulitis, tinnitus, the wife falling down stairs, the "it doesn't look good" hospital reports, or the suicide threats because he's had SUCH a "life well lived?" 

What, no discography of Hank Williams or "HAG" to celebrate how a human virus from Holland can manage to keep on infecting the world year after year? 

What, no "you have 10 days to download what I stole from Green or Exy, my way or the highway, I'm the blogfather, here's my NEW BLOG" bullshit? 

What, no "greatest hits" of Hansy good will, like "I wish you AIDS WITH EBOLA" or "I hope you die of cancer" or "Here's his name and address everybody, get him" to his LONG paranoid list of people who trusted him only to have him turn psycho and rabid? 

Hansy Pansy, the Demented De Vente,  can only put on his drag party dress and his aluminum foil hat, and tell a bunch of strangers it's his birthday. How PATHETIC. In the REAL WORLD, the only human he has any contact with is that moribund MOMMY he lives with.

It's like Norman Bates living with his mother. One's a PSYCHO and the other is pretty much a dead waste of space. And vice versa. 

Zzzz look who got ANOTHER BLOG - "PLEASE LOVE ME" HANSY POO

He's so clever and topical, isn't he? 

Mr. Boring's latest BLOG snickers about how people are miserable and are...

livingsixfeetapart

Ha ha ha. Stay indoors and ask the FAIRY BLOGFATHER to please, please offer some jazz everyone already has, or that Hank Williams discography again, or soft, soft Japanese NEW WAVE music. 

Zzzzzzzz. SO PATHETIC. Nothing else in his life except his Daddy Zinhof and his brainless, barren, Mommy wife...the "thing" he lives with, like a potted plant. Why is he on the internet so much? Ask his wife. Oh, right, she can't answer because she has the brain of an eggplant.

T

Typical HANS, taking a tragedy and trivializing it. 

You remember after 9/11, when Hans was sobbing and crying and lying about having BEEN THERE WHEN THE BUILDINGS CAME DOWN. 

He milked it year after year on 911 ("NEVER FORGET..." he'd wail, while giving away Bossa Nova music collections on a blog). 

Now he's pretending that he's in the midst of the crisis, and watching a city of citizens suffering? No, he's in rural BADHOEVEDORP where the government lets overfed useless old farts like him graze on grassy estates with small two-story public housing nestled between the bushes and trees.

HE is not suffering at all, but he wants all the sympathy he can get.   Feel sorry for HANS. He's a "good man."