What, no TINNITUS? No WIFEY falling downstairs and half dead with a brain tumor?

Oh, it's HANSY PANSY the pathological liar, caught once again.

His "darling" GAVE him a new iphone. Really?

Of course Hansy wouldn't ever BUY anything. He's a cheap Dutch Douchebag. He's admitted to actually stealing from record stores in the past. When he first got on the Internet he was raging to the Letterman fan group that he expected people to tape the shows for him and SEND them to him in Holland for "only the price of postage."

Remember all the times Hansy Pansy whined that he was DYING and he was GIVING away his external hard drives? Now he's bragging about a new Apple computer and a new iPhone and all the other GOODIES he has?  

Now he wants FREE music for his iphone: "Please, some kind person..." Yeah? Who is kind? YOU, you fat vagina-pube-faced blob of shit? The one who first used blogs to post private photos and addresses of people you THOUGHT were your ENEMIES?

If he couldn't threaten and hack and DELETE files to get his way, and when he got caught in his own lies, he would always fall back on "I'm sick...I'm dying..." His favorites? Diverticulitis (he IS a pain in the ass) and TINNITUS. 

He's regularly whined that he can't listen to music anymore but "gives it away" to please others. (He wants to be LOVED for this). Oh, Mr. Tinnitus can use a NEW IPHONE and he wants MUUUUUUUSIC on it, too. He wants every Steely Dan album, please. Pretty please.

So much for the tinnitus, eh?

And who is his "darling?" It's not his moronic wife, who is "slow" and autistic, and who Hans is always claiming has a brain tumor, or has fallen downstairs, or his near death, etc. etc. 

His "darling" was probably his Poquito Peepee friend JOAO ALBA, the one who sends him gay porn and writes "best regards," every time Hansy Pansy sends him a drag photo in return. Ah yes, the Fairy Blogfather, living in his own secret psycho-world of lies and insanity. 

Since he's such an obnoxious, witless, boring, stupid-looking fat-lipped old dope, the Internet is all he has. He's such a fuck-up he can't be trusted to drive anywhere anymore. He might careen off the road, with his "dash cam" showing him squealing in that high-pitched fairy voice, gasping his last bad breath.